You May Laugh, But I Bet They’ll Be Playing This At The Olympics Soon Enough

NIC: THINGS!  I feel alone and wanna chat about something, but I have no topics of conversation nor do I have anything particular I want to say, so . . . umm . . .  uh, OBJECTS!

JOE: Oh yeah?  Two can play at that game!  OXEN!

NIC: PILOT LIGHT!

JOE: TOUPEES!

NIC: CARPET!

JOE: OCTAPI!

NIC: CORRUGATED CARDBOARD!

JOE: ENJAMBNICNTS!

NIC: CAMSHAFT!

JOE: PLEXIGLASS!

NIC: COPYRIGHT!

JOE: DENTURES!

NIC: ALOE VERA!

(Pause.  Both are breathing heavy.)

NIC:  I think we’ve discovered our own form of verbal calvinball.

It’s All in the Subtext?

Lights up.  Prescott and Barbo enter.  Prescott is dressed like a clown, but everything he is wearing is straight black.  Barbo is dressed like a pirate, but everything he is wearing is white.  Between them, they carry a tin can phone.  They stop center stage and then speak into the cans.

Prescott:  DAY!!

Barbo:  STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE!!!

Prescott:  STAY-PRESSED SLACKS!!

Barbo:  NICKEL-PLATED PAPERCLIPS!

Prescott:  POSTAL WALRUS!!

Barbo:  UNHEARD OF HORROR FROM THE OCEAN!

Prescott:  MAGNETS.

Barbo:  SUEDE CURTAINS.

Prescott:  WINDOW SCONCE.

Barbo:  NAUTICAL BELL.

Prescott:  TIME TRAVEL!!

Together:  DAY!!

Lights fade.