Phil and Rosco are in the car. They are drunk, but somehow driving safely.
PHIL: Is there any bar in this town that we’re not banned from? This is a bustling city; there should be new ones popping up all over the place.
ROSCO: I know. We have to wait until the school year ends.
Pause.
PHIL: What?
ROSCO: Think about it – a bunch of college kids, just graduated, think they’re all the shit and looking to start their own bar because they know how to run it better.
PHIL: (chuckles) Because they’re tired of paying high prices for watered drinks on club night. Idiots.
ROSCO: Exactly. Fools don’t know that Tuesday is the day to go drinking.
PHIL: Why do I feel like we’re in a Quentin Tarantino film?
ROSCO: (pointing) Ooooo! Let’s get Little Ceasar’s!
FIVE MINUTES LATER
Phil and Rosco are now eating a pizza and breadsticks. Rosco is dipping breadsticks in a tiny plastic cup of marinara sauce and having difficulty because the car is bumping around.
ROSCO: I still don’t get it.
PHIL: Two guys in a car talking about food. Straight out of Pulp Fiction.
Rosco spills marinara on his shirt.
ROSCO: Dammit, they need to get rid of these little plastic cups. They need to give us some professional shit.
PHIL: Huh?
ROSCO: You know, those little ceramic dishes that you always see on the Food Network filled with onion soup or something.
PHIL: You mean bowls?
ROSCO: No, not bowls. They have a more –
PHIL: Not bowls?
ROSCO: No! Not bowls. They have a more exact name, a more specific name.
PHIL: A scientific name for a bowl?
ROSCO: Why are you dumber than me when you’re drunk?
PHIL: Shhhhh! Don’t say that while I’m driving, you’ll jinx us.
ROSCO: Oh please, like a cop is going to pull us over in this part of town.
A police car flashes its lights and whoops its siren. Phil pulls the car over, and looks at Rosco.
PHIL: You son of a bitch.
One hour later. Phil and Rosco are in jail, being kept in separate cells. Each of their arms are hanging out of the bars. Pause.
PHIL: Ramekins?
Rosco’s clenches one of his hands in a triumphant fist.
ROSCO: YES!