This . . . this isn’t very easy . . .
I thought I had this post all set but something went wrong . . . now I am writing this while I’m driving.
This . . . this isn’t very easy. People in other cars are looking at me. Sure . . . whoa, almost hit a truck . . . sure, people type on their smartphones while driving. They’re not supposed to but they do. But no one expects to look over to the car next to them and see the driver typing furiously on a laptop taped to the steering wheel –
-whoops. That house didn’t need that mailbox, right?
I’m . . . I’m actually starting to get the hang out of it a little. If I need to turn left I just start using the left side of the keyboard a little more OH GOD – was was was was WAS WAS WAS WAS WAS WAS WAS WAS . . . . phew. That was close.
Uh oh. A cop is coming up. Hello Mr. Officer. Nice day we’re having isn’t it?
Shit, did I just type that, or did I say it out loud? I’m getting confused.
Sure, I could pull over and finish this, but there’s this bakery that offers these delicious almond croissants for half off for the first hour that they are open and I need to get there and if you say that it’s not a good reason to endanger everyone on the road by POLLY POLLY POLLY POLLY concentrating more on the computer than the wheel then all I have to say is ADE ADE ADE ADE ADE is that you’ve never had one of these croissants. I wouldn’t kill you in cold blood for one, but manslaughter? Small price to pay.
Hey, when did everyone on the road start driving the other wayOH SHIT!
Asdkfjha woeifj ldk. Adlfkj oeinfops. Ssssssssssssssssssssss. JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ!
This isn’t so hard. In fact, the world suddenly seems like a brighter place. My heart is in my throat. I need to change my underwear.
This is going to be the best croissant ever.