A man sits in an interrogation room. His hands are folded on the table, and they are handcuffed. He looks around the room. A camera is perched in the corner near the ceiling shining a tiny red light. The man looks straight at the camera, and then notices three bullet holes in the ceiling. Then he looks down into the large one-way mirror that takes up the wall in front of him. He blows a kiss at the men behind the mirror, waves at the camera, and begins to laugh. Then the red light on the camera shuts off.
MAN: And here we go.
A cop kicks the door in and storms across the room, rolling up his sleeves. He rips his badge off his shirt and throws it out the door before he slams it shut.
MAN: You might as well turn around, because I ain’t gonna say a God-damned—
Turning directly from the door to the man in a single step, the cop slams the man’s head down on the table, leaving a small dent. The man falls to the floor, clutching his hands to his face. The cop lifts the man up, pulling him by his hair. He punches him across the face twice.
MAN: You think I haven’t been through worse?
The cop backhands the man.
MAN: Keep going, my lawyer will be here any min –
The cop takes out a revolver and pistol-whips the man. He then opens the cylinder with one jerk and unloads all but one bullet onto the table. He spins the cylinder, cocks the gun, and puts the barrel next to the man’s head.
MAN: What the fuck are you –
The cop pulls the trigger quickly five times to empty clicks and then fires the live round into the air, adding a fourth bullet hole next to the others. Then the cop punches the man in the groin, gives him a kick to the gut, lifts the edge of the table and lurches it at the man’s face, and then turns to leave the room.
MAN: (spitting out a bloody tooth) I’m wise to you, pig. You gonna send in the “Good Cop” now?
The cop spins in place at the doorway to face him.
COP: I AM THE GOOD COP!
He slams the door. On the other side of the glass, the cop joins a large group of others, who are looking solemnly through the glass. One is eating popcorn. They stand in silence.
COP 2: You’re getting really good at that Bobby. I always love the gun trick.
The other cops murmur in agreement.
COP: I never would have guessed a few slight of hand magic tricks would come in handy in the interrogation room.
COP 3: Well, time makes fools of us all.
COP 2: Well said.
Most of the cops begin to leave the room now that the show is over. A phone rings and the first cop picks it up. He grunts, listens, grunts again and hangs up.
COP: Lawyer’s here. Turn the camera back on.
Inside the interrogation room, the little red camera light turns back on.
Co-written by Time for More Cake.