Phil & Rosco Dine Fine

Phil and Rosco are sitting down for lunch in a restaurant.  They have just started their meal.  A waiter walks up to them.

WAITER: How is everything?

PHIL:  It’s very good.

Rosco, still chewing, puts a thumb up and then picks up his empty water glass.

WAITER: Fantastic.  Well, just let me know if you need anything.

Rosco raises his water glass, but is still chewing and can’t get the waiter’s attention before he walks away.  Rosco finishes chewing and swallows.

ROSCO:  I wanted more water.

PHIL:  They have guys that come around and fill your glass up.  One’ll come around eventually.

Rosco shrugs, puts down his glass and continues eating.


They have gotten halfway through their meal, and yet Rosco’s glass is still empty.

ROSCO:  Honestly, what the fuck?

PHIL: Cool down.  Just flag down the waiter the next time he comes by.

Rosco glares at Phil, then takes a bite of his meal and slowly chews it, scanning the area for the waiter.


Rosco has finished his meal, and is gently stabbing his empty plate with his knife.

ROSCO:  You’d figure someone would come by to at least take the fucking plate away.

PHIL:  Just get anyone’s attention then.


A busboy walks by Rosco, who holds up his glass to get attention, but the busboy just walks on by.  Then a waiter walks by, and Rosco does the same thing, but he is also ignored.  This happens two more times, and Rosco becomes more aggravated each time.


Rosco spots their waiter, helping out new customers and taking their order.  As they are sitting, the waiter is pouring everyone a glass of water.  Rosco grimaces in fury.

ROSCO:  What the fuck?!

PHIL:  Just stand up and get his attention.

The waiter is pleasantly jotting orders down.  Suddenly, as something zooms past his face, coming dangerously close to his face.  He jumps back and yelps a little.  He looks at the wall he was standing next to and sees a knife quivering there, about the height of his face.  Ashen, he looks towards where the knife was thrown.  Their, he finds Rosco, holding up and gently shaking his water glass.  Rosco is smiling as if he hasn’t a care in the world.

PHIL:  (putting down money) Or that.  That’ll work.


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