The Commandments of All-Day Reading

1.  Hunker Thyself in Thy Dwelling

Let no friend nor occasion draw you hence from thy abode, lest the power the AUTHOR condemn you.  Shift all devices and electric boxes to slumber, for they are demons and will only serve to distract.  Lock thy doors and yea, verily, let the Holy Spirit of Imagination flow into your heart.

2. Be Not Still in Thy Dwelling

Though the door be shut and the window be barred, let not your body go limp in a single place for thy shall offend the grace of the AUTHOR.  As the apostle Wordsmithington once remarked, “Move they body to many places ever and anon, from here to there, from this place to that place, and may the position of thy body never find one state.  To stay in one position is a temptation of the devil, and he shall rack your body with pains and aches and sores for sinning against the AUTHOR.”

3.  Let No Food Grace Your Touch

At no time, from the dawn of your All-Day Read to its dusk, shall you consume a meal of more than a single handful.  If you dare commit this grievance against the AUTHOR, such a fate of pages splashed with soup, smudges of grease and oil, droplets of juice and wine, shall be visited upon thee and ruin thy sacred book.  Commit not this sin and either choose a section of hour to eat thy meal, or choose the holy path and abstain from food.  Yea, but do not forget to drink water, for a soul must breath life to read the word of the AUTHOR.

4.  Give Thyself Over To The Word

Choose not to keep thyself at a distance from the character, plot and theme of the book you hold.  Nay, instead give over thy spirit and embrace the power of the AUTHOR.

5.  May the Make-Believe Guide You Towards Heaven

Let it be known that the All-Day Read is the most holiest of book endeavors, and can only be quested after stories of imagine and nod.  “No man shall read the script of history, for its characters are set and firm in the earth,” sayeth the AUTHOR.

6.  Lend Thyself To The Passage of Time

While in the act of reading and meditation, in the throes of the story, prepare thy soul to travel and skip through the minute, hour, and day.  The unprepared soul will be surprised by the passage of the day, and in a fit of rage blame the book.  This is a sin against the AUTHOR, and will only serve to drag you away from the light.

7. Rest Thyself in the Fellowship of Friends

The AUTHOR, knowing we are but mortal beings susceptible to weakness and scrutiny, has allowed one hour of the day to summon one friend and speak of such things as unrelated to the story.  This will serve thy mind a respite from the word of the AUTHOR, in His glory and light, for they are sometimes too great for we to witness.

8.  Focus On The Word

Train thy eye to witness every letter, word, and phrase written by the Author, for in doing so, you shall know the face of creation.

9.  Cleanse Thyself

The AUTHOR has decreed that, though most time must be spent on the word and plot, the reader must give pause for the washing of hands, feet and face in a basin of clear water, for the act of the All-Day Read will leave on oily and grimed, and to read as such is an affront to the AUTHOR.

10.  Prepare Thy Soul For the Absence of Grace

Once finished with the word, the reader will feel the emptiness as the spirit of the AUTHOR leaves their bodies and returns to the creative ether up in the clouds of Art.  Do not seek more of the word in other stories, for this would be a crime against the AUTHOR.  Be not afraid, nor despair, for although the word of the AUTHOR has left thee, a part of His grace remains in thy heart.  Give praise and rejoice, for the AUTHOR shall return one day and bless upon you once again the gift of the kingdom of Art.  Yea, though we walk through the valley of mediocre plot and character of single dimension, we shall not fear for the spirit of the AUTHOR is with us, and shall remain for all of time.

The End.Image

2 thoughts on “The Commandments of All-Day Reading

  1. My husband gets so jealous if I get into a long book or series. I pretty much feed my kids and read. Doesn’t happen often but it is so awesome when it does.

    • I have had to tell a few friends and family members, on more than one occasion, “Look, I’d love to talk to you right now, or do whatever, but you’re simply not as interesting or fun as the people in this book. Now go away, things are getting good.” Having said that, I don’t have a lot of friends anymore. But that book was cray-zay.

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