I’d Like To Thank All The Little, Little, Little People (Who Live In My Head And Tell Me To Do Things)

Come one, come . . .  a few more!  During this holiday season in which I am going to more holiday functions than I ever have before (there have been three or four Christmas parties in this past week alone), I have found myself receiving gifts that are beyond my expectations.  One was from an aunt of mine who gave me an entire turkey dinner in a box, with a whole frozen (but pre-cooked) turkey, mashed potatoes, mac n’ cheese, and that cranberry jelly stuff that I always spend  twenty minutes prodding with a spoon but never get around to eating.  If you have never gotten meat as gift from a family member, let me tell you something:  It’s fucking weird.  One aunt once came over just to give me three Cornish game hens.  My mother once sent me a care package that was full of sausages.  All these things were delicious, and they know I love to cook so it’s not that abstract, I have just never been able to tell some one, “Yeah, my mom sent me these sausages via the United States Postal Service,” without feeling like I should be in a Coen brothers movie.

"Vee have some sausage dat dein mother sent from Arizona, jah?"

The other gift (other than that wonderful cold hard cash of awesomeness that only grandmothers can give) was I have been nominated for The Versatile Blogger Award! 

The nomination comes from the Funny or Tragic, a blog filled with enough dark humor to make you feel okay about sitting in the dark alone, laughing like a maniac.  From a new take on cattle prods, to this wonderful post about boobs, Funny or Tragic is filled with hilarious musings and colorful cartoons.

And now I have to pass this award to five to fifteen people, as it’s one of the rules.  The other rules are that you have to inform your nominees of the nomination, while providing a link to the person who nominated you along with your thanks.  Then you have to tell seven random things about yourself and post up that little green picture.  This is going to be hard as I’m not sure I know more than eight people in my life all together (one of whom is me looking in the mirror).  But it’s also a good thing as I had no idea what I was going to post today and was too lazy to figure something out.

RANDOM THINGS

1. I shave my toes, except for the two biggest.
2. I don’t remember names. Not that I can’t, but I tend not to care about a person’s name. I find it is always easier just to look into a person’s eyes and say, “Hey. How is everything going?” This works, 100% of the time, and no one seems to mind.
3. My favorite nut is hazelnut because it tastes woody. My favorite wood is sandalwood, because it smells nutty.
4. I name inanimate objects like my stapler (Milton) or my three-hole punch (Norman), and I regard them as important friends/allies. I deduced I do this because I was lonely for my entire childhood.

FRIENDS!

5. I judge the space of my apartments by how well I can safely do I cartwheel in them. (i.e. – My apartment is two and half cartwheels big.)
6. I have a desperate need to own a three-toed sloth, which I would name Couscous.  I also want a manatee, but I don’t know what I’d name him.  Maybe Filbert.

Or Gerald Puffybottom.

7. I could never make up my mind which candy bar to buy when I was in the grocery store, and stopped buying candy altogether because the indecision was driving me nuts.

NOMINEES

This is the really hard part as I end up not reading many blogs.  After work and creating my post of the day once I get home, all I want to do is sit back, drink some whiskey and watch Monty Python.  Add to that the few I do read I’m sure have already been nominated, and I don’t want to look like the blogging-newbie I am.  Plus this whole exercise (while being part fad) also is about introducing new bloggers to more people, so I don’t want to end up repeating.  But here are five blogs I am always eager to read:

A Man Chasin’ His Hat

From intriguing articles about the new generations and how the changes in culture are sculpting their behavior, to crazy short stories involving metaphysics, psychology and robots, A Man Chasin’ His Hat is a place of brain candy.  Smart enough to almost be considered nerdy and abstract enough to almost be nonsense, it’s always a delight to read and ponder over.  Some of my favorite posts are It’s Like Some Kind of Torture and Reverse Doppler.  It’s hard to properly describe this blog; the closest I can get is saying it’s like Donald Duck in Mathmagic Land – It’s crazy and sometimes a little confusing, but 100% fun.

Die Umlat

Have you been fired recently?  Have you had any luck finding a new job?  Have you been burned by internet scams and horrid job recruiters?  Do you like some truly underground music?  Then head on over to Die Umlat, where you can read all the war stories from the wounded in the “Seeking Employment” front.  From her weekly posts of actual job scams used on craigslist, to her own experiences coping with unemployment, you get to feel a slice (or in a lot of peoples’ case, get to share it) of one of America’s hugest populations right now.  She also has posts reliving musical moments from her childhood, or introducing new and upcoming artists, reviews of some new restaurants and other articles concerning whatever pops into her head.

Nerdy Baker

I started following Nerdy Baker before I actually read one of the posts.  The big picture I saw of some homemade cheese-toast was enough to have me going back to the beginning and reading every post she had.  Also, the title of the blog is pitch perfect as I also like to cook and am probably more of a nerd than I feel comfortable with admitting.  Two of my favorite, most cheesy-bread-filled glorious posts from her are Here We Go, Sourdough! and Pull Apart Cheesy Herb Bread.  She also provides links that would sate the nerd in anyone, and her writing is down-to-earth, funny and delightful.

Sets and Lights

Having gone to an arts school and gotten my Bachelors in Theatre (an absolutely useless degree), a piece of my heart will always belong onstage.  Sets and Lights helps bring me back into that world with minimal effort, which is probably why I like it.  It discusses a lot of issues with the technical side of theatre, an industry and workforce that has always gone unnoticed and forgotten despite being the reliable backbone of us poofy actors onstage. If you ever wanted to hear what working a live theatrical show is like, tune into and read of few of his posts.  It’ll make you feel like you standing backstage, wearing all black and waiting for the actor to hit their cue so you can start the music, hit the programmed light sequence and start closing the curtain.

The Thirsty Wench

Another blog I just started following without really reading a post first.  Beer?  Yes, I’ll follow you, and with vigor!  A blog dedicated to all things having to do with that wonderdrink, The Thirsty Wench helps take you through an introduction to beer to reviews of some more crafty-beers.  It’s a blog devoted to getting you to drink, and she deserves a medal for even attempting such a mission from God.

So there you go; five blogs I love and that I think you should start reading too.  I just hope they haven’t been nominated yet, or I’m gonna feel like such a tool.  One of those tools that looks silly and is completely obsolete now.

Like this.

And I’m almost to my 150th post.  I’m actually astounded the blog has lasted this long, as posting every single day can really be a pain in the ass sometimes.  But I’m going to keep at it, at least for the first year, after which I’ll probably die down on the number of posts in lieu of creating longer, more complex and more engaging works.  That’s still around 200 posts away however, so things won’t be changing anytime soon.

Thanks once again to Funny or Tragic for the nomination, and congrats to all of those who were nominated.  TO FRIENDSHIP!!!

No, not those ones.

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