Why Middle School Is Right For You

Introducer walks onto stage.

INTRODUCER:  That’s right, you’re in middle school now and the fun is just beginning.  Now, some might say that middle school or “Junior High” is a place where Satan himself was spawned, but that’s not entirely true, and I’m going to show you.  Come with me now and let’s explore “Why Middle School is Right For You”.

A kid is playing with a wall in the middle of the stage.  INTRODUCER walks up and kicks the ball out of sight.

In middle school, you’ll leave all of your childlike game play behind and move on to the real world.  Here you will receive a top education and be held at the highest regard.  You are also offered some of the best cuisine in the tri-state area.

A teacher appears, with a donut on each finger, slowly eating one of the donuts he has on each finger, ignoring the kid.

And don’t worry about your complexion.  Our studies have shown that the acne you start to get in middle school is now very “hip” and “attractive” with today’s youth.  You also don’t need to worry about those other changes that happen to you as you grow.  These are natural and they don’t hurt.

Kid:  It doesn’t hurt?

Of course it hurts, but not as much as that bully over there will.

A big bully chases the kid off stage.

In middle school, perspective is an important and most vital of lessons.  In middle school, you can also receive defense training against attackers –

A kid walk across the stage, covered in bandaged.

– medical aide –

A kid lugs an incredibly heavy backpack across the stage..

– and weight training.  Yes, middle school has a lot to offer you.  They even have puzzles lining all the hallways that are almost impossible to open.  That’s right, a middle school can change your life in a lot of ways, and a couple of them are for the better . . .

You got something to say? Go ahead, I dare ya . . .

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