I Simply Ran Out Of Time

Sundays are usually my story/article days, but the two things I have been writing are taking me a lot more time than I originally anticipated.  One, which is an essay concerning Hollywood, started off as a comedic splutter of anger and witty remarks (e.g. Profanity) but quickly evolved into a examination of the entertainment industry, almost to the point where I’m having to research so I’m not “bs”ing you all more than usual.  Needless to say, since I actually have a point with that article I have to actually try and that takes time.  The other one is a story based on a dream I had.  That one isn’t hard, I’m just lazy, which I believe I have mentioned before.

But since I’m trying to post every single day, which is something I’d like to keep up for as long as I can, I’ve decided to share some pictures.  My senior year in college I happened upon a South Park Avatar Creator online, and it took over my life for a time.  I made South Park versions of most of my friends, coworkers and roommates.

This is how I will imagine them for the rest of my life.

But after you have done all of your friends and it’s 3am and the thoughts of what life is going to be like after graduation (I imagined it as a big, gaping black hole that sucks your soul out through your butt, so I was pretty close), you’ll do anything to help pass the time before you pass out from exhaustion go by faster.  I had also become very adept at capturing a person’s essence via South Park and I wanted to see what else I could come up with.  So I started to make South Park versions of some of my favorite television shows at the time.

Battlestar Galactica

I’m happy to say I introduced this show into my circle of friends.  Most of them started off keeping it at an arm’s distance, associating it with Star Trek/Star Wars fan rejects, but after watching the mini-series that kicked off the show they were hooked.  Any show where the robots, spaceships and sexy women aren’t nearly as captivating as the characters and their turmoil is tops in my book.  My favorite episode was “Exodus”, an hour of television that did space battles than any feature film I have ever seen, before or since.


After a lot of hem and hawing from a friend about it, I sat down and watched the first episode of Lost.  After the episode was finished I went to Amazon and bought the first two seasons on DVD.  And because I’m impatient I spent more money so it would get to me faster.  Not fast enough however, as I had watched both of those seasons online before the dvds arrived.  The show faltered big time for a couple of seasons before it got back on track for its last two.  But by opting for sentimentality instead of making any kind of fucking sense, the show never reclaimed its original glory.  The first two seasons still kick ass though.

Stargate SG-1

Look, what can I say?  I’m a fucking nerd.  Stargate SG-1 has been a secret indulgence for a long time.  I have watched the series, the entire series, multiple times, and it still makes me laugh and, yes god dammit, cry sometimes.  What I liked most about it was the mythology and history that was created for the show, how it created a large grey area between the protagonists and antagonists, and their respectful and humanizing view of the military.  Indeed.  (I really am a nerd.)

Harry Potter

They were really good books.  They were really fun movies.  The audio books are perfect.  It has been an active part of my imagination for twelve years.  It was incredible fun, and I can’t wait to revisit it at some point down the road.

The Big Lebowski

This is somewhat appropriate since it was just released on blu-ray.

The next two I made not because I liked either the show or the movie, but I really like a girl who really liked the show and the movie.  Nothing came of it since she turned me down, so all the time I spent keeping up with the show was for naught, although I was happy as punch to stop watching it because I hated it so.  As far as Pirates is concerned, I enjoyed the hell out of the first one.  The rest planted the seeds that would grow into a deep hatred for almost all sequels.


Pirates of the Caribbean

Well that’s all I got.  Sorry about the odd post, but things will be back to normal next week.  If you want me to make a South Park version of you, just reply to this.  Or try your own hand at South Park-ifying at SP-Studio.


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